Category: Changes That Heal

Failing to set Boundaries

Failure to set boundaries can cause vary caustic substances to build up in our lives. These include Depression, Panic, Resentment, Passive-Aggressive Behavior, Codependency, Identity Confusion, Difficulties with Aloneness, Masochism, Victim Mentality, Blaming, Overresponsibility, Guilt, Underresponsibility, Feelings of Obligation, Feelings of being Let Down, Isolation, Extreme Dependency, Disorganization, Lack of Direction, Substance Abuse, Eating Disorders, Procrastination,…
Own your Behaviors, Thoughts, Abilities and Choices

If you have a son or daughter living at home long after the age they should be independent, you need to ask yourself “why?”. With the affluence of our society, it’s often easy to allow them to live at home spending our money rather than pushing them out of the nest on their own. Take…
Well defined Boundaries

Have you ever driven through a neighborhood where there were no fences between properties? I was looking at one today. Each house had a little island of play toys for the kids (swing set, jungle gym, kid swimming pool, etc) centered in the middle of each yard. This looked a bit odd to me since…
Responsible Boundaries

Those of us who are old enough to remember the comedian Flip Wilson know that his most famous line is “The devil made me do it”. This is very much how many people lead their lives. Having good boundaries not only means that you know who you are, but you know that you have full…
What are boundaries?

CHANGES THAT HEAL I have to sadly admit that the first time I heard a talk on boundaries it all went over my head, and I didn’t get a thing about the subject. Happily this is no longer true. The reason that the subject sounded so foreign to me was that I was in a…
Take that good bonding with you!

When we think about bonding, there is a psychological term that is important. That term is “emotional object consistency”. What this means is that we experience bonding with a friend or loved one, that feeling is imprinted in us to the point that even when we are separate we can still feel the love and…
Does Bonding mean “Joined at the hip”?

The experience of proper bonding with another person has been for me the most enjoyable experience of my life. Too many times the baggage from past relationships or the hurtful experiences in our past drive us to improper bonding with others. This improper bonding usually develops into full blown co-dependency. In proper bonding, closeness will…
4 Areas Where We Have a Hard Time Getting it Right.

There are four main areas in our lives where it’s hard to get it right. Bonding. Boundaries. Good vs Bad. Feeling Grown Up. As we use the tools of Grace, Truth and Time, we can take a realistic look at our lives, and see where circumstances may have dealt us a short hand. Understanding these…
Friday June 18 Questions

Three ingredients of growth: GRACE_+_TRUTH TIME Just as a tree needs good soil and nutrients to grow tall and strong over a period of time, we need essential ingredients in our lives to experience strength and growth. These essential ingredients are grace and truth. The bible has many descriptions of God, and when they are…