Category: Changes That Heal

The Wall

What is a wall? A wall is a boundary. It says this is where your domain ends and my domain starts. A wall protects those within from harm. John 10 describes a sheepfold. You can tell the good guys from the bad guys because the thieves and robbers climb over the wall. It is highly…
Beautifully Broken the Early Years

I was quite a lonely child growing up. In fact I feel that loneliness has produced the greatest ongoing pain in my whole life. I was the youngest and my next older sibling was my brother who was 6 years older than I. I was definitely not in his circle of friends to hang out…
Putting our Lives Together Again

We recently attended a Christmas party with a “white elephant” gift exchange. The purpose is not to give or receive a gift of any particular value, but just to have a fun exchange. We ended up with quite a potpourri of trinkets none of which seemed to be of much value. Earlier today my wife…
Barriers to thinking like an adult

The way we perceive ourselves and others can often get us “stuck” at a particular stage of our development. These perceptions need to be explored and challenged so that we can see the error in continuing to think of ourselves and others in this manner. Here are several examples of distorted thinking. We may not…
Is life Upside Down?

Remember the Robin Williams character Mork? He had an advantage over us in that he was born an adult, and as he got older, became more childish. Perhaps life would be easier if we could do that. I can remember all my childhood thinking about how things would be when I finally grew up. For…
Growing into Adulthood

What does it mean to be an adult? Now we can stay up late, we don’t have to ask momma’s permission to go to a friend’s house, we can choose not to eat our vegetables etc. While these are all valid choices that we can make, they are not all necessarily good choices. I have…
More Skills to integrate Good and Bad

Typically our lives are not improved without an effort. The good ol’ four letter word W_O_R_K. Bringing sanity and completeness to our lives by proper integrating the good and bad is no different. Here are some things we can do to help the process: PRAY. David’s prayer in Psalms 139 says it best. “Search me,…
Learning to Accept Both Good and Bad

What does our attitude need to be about good and bad? Imagine if when we hurt somebody else, that instead of dwelling on the badness of the situation and heaping guilt and resentment upon ourselves, we reach out of ourselves in an attitude of Godly sorrow and help the ones who are hurting. What would…
Sorting out the Good and Bad

I have always felt that for the most part I have had a very good life. I have usually gotten the things I really wanted and things have generally always worked out for the best. My religious upbringing taught me such things as “All things work together for the good of those who love the…
Learning to set Boundaries

CHANGES THAT HEAL Learning to set Boundaries Since boundaries are such an important part of developing meaningful relationships, and avoiding getting trapped in co-dependency, it is important that we learn the skills involved in setting healthy boundaries. Here is a list. Gain Awareness – Be aware of that boundary issues are important. Define who you…